Culture and Friends

The past few weeks have been refreshing. Through the graciousness of the IMB, I’ve been free to enjoy this time with my kids. Each morning, Jonathan, Martha, and I begin the day studying character qualities, then look for ways to apply them during the day.

One topic that keeps coming up is that of culture and friends. Being in the U.S. these past three years has brought us back into American culture and has forced us to diligently limit its impact on our family. Years ago, a study was done to determine the commonalities among geniuses – what factors in their environment contributed to their smartness. They found three:

1. An abundance of learning resources in the home. (When the child’s curiosity was whetted, there were books – not TV or computer games - to help him satisfy his appetite for answers. The home was a school.)

2. Lots of exposure to adults. (Think about it. If you want your child to learn mature behavior, do you involve him in your daily adult activities and conversations, or do you leave him unsupervised with kids his own age?)

3. Isolation from peers. (Those who became geniuses were protected from the unproductive habits and conversations of youth. They were free from peer-dependency, and thus free to mature quickly into adults.)

Well, it was never our goal to raise geniuses, but it was our goal to raise children who were mighty in spirit, able to make wise choices. I have been so blessed by Martha, who is recognizing the damaging elements of Western music, movies, and values (or lack of). She says she is eager to return to the Philippines so she can be away from the pressure of American culture. Even in church youth groups, conversations that center on dating, movies, and rock music, have been a drain on Martha’s spirit.

Philippians 3:19 talks about three kinds of wrong friends: “Their destiny is destruction” (think violent computer games); “their god is their stomach” (doing what feels good instead of what is right); and “their glory is in their shame” (the things their eyes see, ears hear, and mouths speak would cause our grandparents to blush).

While Jan and I tried to be careful parents, I know we haven’t been as diligent as we could have been. So would you please bless me by praying Psalm 101 for me and my children that, wherever we are, we would be careful to “set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men…will not cling to me. Men of perverse heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with evil…My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me.”

May God’s grace and peace be yours in abundance.