I couldn’t sleep. In addition to the huge throbbing tumor on my left abdominal area, I now had a new competing soreness on my right side. Neck pain radiated across my left shoulder, then down my back. My pain medication took away my appetite. Nausea wouldn’t go away. I questioned whether I would make it another two weeks.
That’s how the new year began for me. But by the end of the first week, I was feeling better. The past couple of weeks have been comparatively good. But, as I’ve said before, my cancer is so extensive that anything could happen at any time. Still, it’s nice to have some days when I feel relatively good.
A major milestone will happen to me this month. On February 15, I will be officially retired. My nearly 40 years of service with the International Mission Board will come to an end. Actually, for the past 4+ years, the Mission Board has been in service to me. When I returned from the Philippines in July, 2020, the Mission Board was generous to keep me on medical leave. My initial 1 to 2 years of life expectancy has turned into four and a half, so it makes sense to transition me to retirement. I have been super blessed to be a part of this organization. Even though I have felt useless these past 4 years, I will miss being a part of it.
February 8 will mark 18 years since Jan’s promotion to Paradise. I often see her remarkable legacy in the lives of our children and continue to hear about her amazing influence in the lives of her friends. She was much more active during her cancer adventure than I have been with mine. It always puzzles me why God took her first and left me. Maybe Heaven will someday give an answer.
February is also valentine’s ‘love’ month. I put ‘love’ in quotations because I believe most have an elementary idea of what genuine love is. I know I’m still learning. In the New Testament, love is usually connected with a commitment to give (John 3:16) or to sacrifice oneself (John 15:13; Eph. 5:25) for the well-being of others. No mention of romance. I am so grateful that God’s love for me was never dependent on my deeds or performance. It was entirely His gracious choice, for which I will be eternally thankful. I hope your year is off to a good start. May His grace and peace be yours in abundance.
1 comment:
Yes, I also know what true and wonderful love really is-= first of all, I think of what Christ did for me by giving His life on the cross= then I think of my Bob who went to his heavenly home over 7 years ago. I'm now 89 so it won't be long until I go to my Home where Jesus waits with open arms!!
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