30 Months

It’s been 2 ½ years since my recurrent cancer diagnosis.  30 months.  Back then, I wasn’t sure I would live for another 3 months!  What I was sure of is that I didn’t want to do the standard treatment for stage 4 kidney cancer, which is a well-tolerated oral medication that, on average, delays cancer progression for about a year (this could then be followed by a more toxic treatment that would compromise quality of life).  The IMB was willing to provide it, but at a cost of about $5k per month of treatment, I wanted that money to support mission work, not keep me out of heaven longer.  Now, 30 months later, imagine the cost if I had taken it!  We would have likely given credit to the treatment for keeping me alive this long. 

As it is, I’ve had symptoms off and on ever since June, 2020, my last month in the Philippines.  Most of the time, the symptoms are not major and do not hinder me much from everyday activities.  On Easter weekend I felt well enough to ride with Sara and her boyfriend Ray to visit Hannah and Daniel, and my grandson, Nathaniel.  Nathaniel is a cheerful chunk of a boy, already wearing 1+ year old clothes even though he is barely 6 months old.  He’s still nourished completely on mother’s milk.  We enjoyed an Easter morning worship service outdoors overlooking the Colorado River and Lake Marble Falls.

What’s more limiting for me on a daily basis is my Fuchs' Dystrophy eye disease, which I was diagnosed with over 10 years ago, but suddenly began affecting my vision last October.  Each day, I must wait until afternoon or evening for my vision to clear up enough before I can drive to David’s house or to Walmart for groceries.  It’s too risky for me to drive any further.  I also have to wait until afternoon or evening before I can read, and only then with the aid of a magnifier.  While there is a surgical procedure than can fix it, it’s costly.  With my cancer progressing, it doesn’t make sense to spend for it.

What isn’t limiting is God’s grace.  He continues to supply me with daily joy while I rest in His sovereignty and treasure His mercy.  In the evenings, I’m reading again John Piper’s book, Providence, rejoicing in God’s eternal plan to display His glory (His compassion, goodness, justice, faithfulness, wisdom, humbleness, love, and many other qualities) with such fullness that His people will praise, reflect, and enjoy His glory forever.  I remain ready and eager for my next step in eternity to begin.