So the question I have been asking people is: What should be
the reason for a married couple to have children? The answers I have received go like this: to
feel fulfilled; to experience being a parent; to pass on my heritage; to feel
loved; to have someone take care of me when I’m old. Notice that these answers are rather
self-centered. While children can
certainly bring about these experiences, they are not the reason Scripture says
we should have children.
Before David was born, Jan and I were challenged by Psalm
127, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s
youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver
is full of them.” A stick becomes an
arrow after it is whittled smooth to remove imperfections, equipped with
feathers for stability and direction, and given a point to defeat the
enemy. Likewise, children must be disciplined to remove wrong behavior, taught character for stability and godly
principles for direction, and made to know that their purpose in the world is
to defeat evil and glorify God.
One day Jesus asked some fault-finders whose image was on a
coin. “Caesar”, was their answer. Jesus said, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s
and to God what is God’s.” Genesis 1
says that we are created in God’s image.
Therefore, as parents, our children do not belong to us, but to
God. We are merely stewards entrusted by
God with children for the purpose of making them into arrows useful in the
Master’s hand.
Any parent who desires children for personal fulfillment may
be setting themselves up for disappointment.
It doesn’t take too many days of
dirty diapers, crying, hitting, biting, shouting, name-calling, broken dishes, ruined
clothes, rebellious attitudes, and a host of other grievances, to hope that
there is a better way to find fulfillment.
Indeed there is. From our
experience, only when Jesus is our first love – our source for acceptance and significance,
can we have the patience to love these warring little creatures in our home.
One has to be intentional to make arrows; they don’t just form
by themselves. God entrusted parents,
not schools, for this task. Jan and I
were motivated daily by our God-given assignment to raise kids who were mighty
in spirit, who recognized the enemy (lust, greed, rebellion, anger, selfishness,
etc.), and whose purpose was to show up the world for the darkness that is in
it so that the light of Christ could shine clearly through them.
A few hours ago I was talking with Hannah via Skype. I asked her why she would want children some
day. Her quick answer, “To take on the
challenge of raising kids who will be good.
Our world needs good people.”
Exactly!
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